Dinners and Sinners

⁹ As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector’s booth. “Follow me,” he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him.

¹⁰ While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples. ¹¹ When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?”

¹² On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. ¹³ But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’^[a] For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”  Matthew 9:9-12

Maybe you have noticed it before, but until now, I had never thought to connect the Matthew of this story to the author of the gospel you find this story in.  Here we read of Matthew's account of Jesus calling him, and then it follows up with the story of Jesus dining with 'tax collectors and sinners' who had come to him.

These stories are connected.

Matthew as called of Jesus, and he was a tax collector.  These two ideas in that day probably wouldn't go together.  How would Jesus, one whom many saw as a teacher and prophet (they fell short in seeing him as a Messiah) call a tax collector (a cheat, a dishonest man, in partnership with Rome) to follow him?

This didn't fit their narrative, and it often doesn't fit ours.

Jesus then, with his disciples, proceeds to dine with MORE tax collectors and sinners!  The Pharisees, in  seeing this, stop to question his disciples (why go directly to the source?).  Jesus response is so honest and true: He came to demonstrate mercy and to call those outside of God's family into it.

Matthew, the sinner, was shown mercy by Jesus, who then fellowshipped with him and brought him in to the family of God.  Matthew was the demonstration of what Jesus was teaching in this moment.

Matthew would become a write of one of our four gospels.

That's redemption.

-------------------------------------------

Some other observations:

1. Jesus mission was Redemption, even if it caused some to question his reputation.  Maybe yet, its a model to the church on how to act.  What can and are we doing to welcome sinners and tax collectors?  It'll offend the religious, but not Jesus.

2. Jesus demonstrated mercy in calling Matthew.  He was on the 'wrong side' in so many ways, yet Jesus called to him to follow Him.

3. Pharisees ironically were just as much sick as the others.  The mere attitude of questioning revealed the deep sinfulness in their hearts.

4. I can't help but think Matthew recognized where we had come from, and this is him telling his story of redemption.

5.  MY DIFFICULT TRUTH:  The reality is, I am probably too much like the Pharisee at times.  My attitude toward those on 'the wrong side' of things brings out a sinfulness in my heart that is in need of healing as much as those I am sitting in condemnation of.

----------------------------------------------

This is another story of God's heart for lost people.  May it also be ours.

Anxiety and the Red Puffed Up Balloon

Ever blown up a balloon? I am sure you have.  If not a balloon, maybe a piece of gum.  

I remember as a kid, I would see how big I could make the balloon get it popped.   I sometimes  would compete with friends to see who could make it bigger.  This idea has even worked itself in to carnival games!  

The bigger I blew up the balloon, the more it filled the space of which I could see, and pretty soon, all I saw was a big balloon in front of me.  It was massive, probably red, because I liked red balloons, and it was taking all my time and energy. 

Then it would pop.

On the floor would be remnants of a stretched out red balloon that had nothing left to show for itself but scraps on the floor. 

It was just full of hot air.  There was no substance to it,  and yet, at the time, it seemed like the biggest thing in front of me.

That's how I often have felt when it comes to anxiety.  It looms large and takes up a lot of space in my mind and my heart.  

I have struggled with anxiety for quite some time, as I am sure many of you have.  There have been times that it has felt crippling.  It seemed to be the largest thing in the room.

Yet I am realizing something to be true:

Anxiety doesn't tell the truth.  

I was reading through Matthew 6:25-34 and the Holy Spirit used this passage to remind me of some things that are true about anxiety:

It minimizes my ability to think effectively, bringing me to a place of compulsive worrying and ineffective overthinking.  It's like being in a hamster wheel stuck on a treadmill.  It's exhausting and goes nowhere.

It diminishes proper focus on situations at hand, keeping me fixated and agitated about the smallest things that loom large in my mind.  It's the largest balloon right in front of me filled with nothing but hot air.

It weakens my trust in others, It makes me think me think that people that are for me are my adversaries and that no one can be trusted. It creates in me a defense posture toward those who seek to provide me safety.

It diminishes my faith in God.  I begin to believe that God is something that He actually is not.  It distorts my image of God who made me into a false idea of who I think He is what I think He can do, which keeps me distant from Him.

It distorts the truth of my own value.  It tells me false ideas of who I am not and what I can't do.  Like a megaphone, it becomes the loudest voice in the room.  Just because it's loud doesn't mean it's true.

it diminishes the power of the moment I am in.  I can't enjoy the beautiful moments I find myself in because I am stuck worrying about the hypothetical things that probably never will happen.

The more I remember these things, the more I realize anxiety is a liar.

My pray for you is the same one I pray for myself.  Let the truth of scripture be greater than the lies of anxiety in my heart, and my the loudest voice in my head be the voice of the Holy Spirit speaking life in to who I am and who God has called me to be.

Summer Letter 2019

Neighbor.

I have been broken down 

Been beat to the ground

Nothing left to see of me

But my shame and despair

Yet you pass me so quickly 

Never glancing to see me

To be of any help to me

You who called me  friend

I have been left bruised

Lay wounded on the dirt floor

All has been taken from me

But my sorrow and pain

Yet you pass me so swiftly

To busy to notice my plea

Or have your turned from me?

You who called me  brother

I am left to be be undone

No one to see my calamity

Heart and soul betrays you

Too busy with your religiosity

Yet a stranger passed by me 

Noticed me lowly and wounded

In mercy he looked to help me

I had called him my enemy.

----------------------

God gives us mercy.

The Convenience of Cecil the Cat

"It is a growing trend of internet mob justice, one that often bleeds into real-world harassment with real-world consequences." (Article here: http://www.vox.com/2015/7/30/9074865/cecil-lion-palmer-mob-justice)

'Cecil' tells me two things: we love pointing fingers and being quick to cast judgment.  We also love deflecting from our own shortcomings.  Admitting our own faults is either to painful or inconvenient.

It's always been easier to point fingers at others. It is driven by our tendencies to deflect away from our own short comings as individuals, and at times collective shortcomings as a nation or culture.  

We are also quick to react to assumptions, half truths, and flat out lies with no time given to allow truth to come forth or information and facts to be collected.  

Often it is led by alarmist mentalities, the loudest voices (but not the wisest), and built on faulty views of other people (prejudice), and is often driven less than honorable motives (we call them politicians).

We fall for the typical problem of believing the first thing read, or the loudest voice we hear,  all too often becoming too little to late when much of what we first read or heard can often be simply untrue.

An emotionally charged response based on feelings, fed by our own prejudices and assumptions, which is based in little information does not lead to justice but revenge.

These mob mentalities (revenge for a cat) are so minor compared to much greater, a real issues that deserve much more, and necessary attention (Planned Parenthood, anyone?)

The convenience of Cecil is that it is easy to fight this "injustice" because it  allows us to "feel good" by vilifying someone, and yet doesn't force us to justify our own sins committed for the sake of convenience nor does it force us to look on our own individual sins or our cultural soul and wonder what we have become.

Tides Unexpected.

There is a beach near my home that I frequent because it’s relatively unknown to the non-natives.  I probably don’t help the situation as I have often taken friends and family who visit from out of town to this beach for bonfires and good times.  It’s a beautiful setting nestled between two small cliffs with easy access,  a gorgeous view, and free parking.  That’s important.

I recently took a group to visit this beach.  The whole time leading up to going,  I told them how great of a spot this was, how quiet it would be, and how there would be more than enough room to accommodate our group of 40 plus people.  I found out how wrong I was when we arrived.  I’d never seen it this way before, the tide was unexpectedly high, taking out 30 feet beach that was usual there.   The waves were crashing up to edge of the beach, and there was little room on the small crowded patch of sand we were hoping to claim.  I suddenly began defending the situation.  “It’s never like this,”  and “we always have room.”  But we didn’t. 

We would find a small area that we tried to make work so that we could have our bon fire and sing our songs.  To the skim boarders, the situation was perfect, and entertaining.  To the rest of us, we were busy dodging waves and residue washing up onto the beach which was  claiming more and more of it away from us.  At last we realized we had lost the fight to stay, when one set of waves came so high, it washed up over to where we were and took out most of what we had set down, dragging sandals, instruments, and bags back into the ocean.  Thankfully only shoes were lost to the sea.

It made me realize how unprepared I was for the situation, and how much I relied on what I thought I knew.  I had been to this beach many times before, but usually late at night, when the tide was lower.  I had not bothered to look up any information to see if things had shifted. Not unlike my assumptions of what I knew of the beach that day, we often thrive off what we think we know of people and ourselves.  We are caught unprepared for what the high tide reveals to us

 When the local crowd gathered to stone the woman caught in adultery, they were hoping to “trap” Jesus in to saying something that would get him arrested.  Instead he spoke right to the heart of the matter, and they were face to face with their own sin. They were caught.   It says in John 8:9 that “When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one.”  He caught them in their own trap.  He made them realize their own sin was right before them.  They had assumed one thing, but reality brought truth to light.  He uncovered their own sin buried in the sand.

And maybe this isn’t a bad thing.  Perhaps we need Christ to bring ‘unexpected tides’ into our lives to challenge the assumptions and bring truth to light in our own lives, in the places we try to keep hidden. We need these tides to wash up and reveal what we have buried in our hearts, and held on to for so long.  Perhaps his ability to shine light to truth in our lives will help us deal with that we often push back down back into dark parts of our soul.

When we allow God to bring light to dark places in our moments of prayer, in moments we remain in His presence, we risk little in what God may reveal to us and challenge us to change.  It is in the moments we keep hiding, and don’t deal with our sin, that circumstances, in most unexpected ways, reveal darkness in the most humbling ways.  And this of our own accord, for we have worked so hard to bury it deep through our sin and arrogance.

When Jesus found the woman sitting at a well in Samaria, he found someone broken and wounded.  He in no time spoke right to the situation she was in.   But he didn’t condemn her in the moment.   He did bring her sin, her brokenness to light, he put it before her, and then offered her hope.  In John 4:13 says to her “the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”  Eternal life built on the “living water” found in Christ.  Perhaps this ‘living water’ was the high tide needed to disrupt her life and bring her redemption.  Jesus did just that.  Love Eternal broke through her darkest situations and brought life.

Our fear is not in what tides washing up may reveal, instead it is in the grace God offers us in our moment we allow ourselves to be vulnerable before Him.  God convicts us of sin to bring us to redemption.  He sheds light on our circumstances to help us to become who He created us to be.  So we should welcome the tides, be honest with our brokenness, allowing Christ to bring wholeness. We go from unexpected tides, to welcoming them.  In doing so, we become more like Jesus.

Misty Sea

Sleepy dreams along a misty sea
Fragile hearts held at the seams
What did you hope it would be
When the stars still gave us dreams

Down windy roads stretched ahead
That lead us to a work unseen
Of a life imagined in fairy tales
And seen on shows and magazines

The city lights make a bright sky
That light a midnight path this way
To memories that keep us hoping
For what we thought life would bring

The imagination of what could be
At times fall short of our reality
Dreams left to linger on and on
Waiting to be come to life again

In the mundane of our menial tasks
We keep to dreams we long to see
That give us hope for another day
To be where we've never been before